Jump. (No 7)

In the days following our kayak date, Mr W and I would continue to talk during work hours via office communicator, planning several more boating trips.  I would help him pack up the boat and take it back to his aunt's house. Afterwards we would drive together back to town, usually stopping for dinner at Subway or at 7-11 for Slurpee's, chatting the entire way.  

One night, after the obligatory Subway stop for dinner, we stopped at Plymouth Park, a block away from Mr W's childhood home. We walked laps around the park, sharing about hopes/dreams and failures/disappointments.  At one point in our endless lapping of the park, Mr W noticed a gazebo with a fairly flat rooftop and stopped abruptly in front of it.  Anyone who knew him growing up could see this part coming. On the side of the gazebo were 2 plastic trash cans with lids on top. He walked over, grabbed a can and rolled it to just underneath the ledge of the roof.  Within 20 seconds he was perched on the top of the gazebo roof, extending out an arm.  I can't remember any words being exchanged until I was standing atop the trash can, lacking a few inches in height to swing my legs up onto the roof.  I must have something like "help pull me up" and he held my hands for some balance until I not-so-skillfully pulled myself a safe distance from the edge of the roof.  

Mr W was lying back on the roof-top, hands behind his head, gazing up at the clear Michigan night sky. I instinctively did the same, though less gracefully as I was trying to keep the tar roof-top from sand-papering too much of my elbows. 

It must have been at least 15 minutes -which is a long time now that I think about it to have not said anything- until Mr W shared an earth shattering "look at the sky".  Which, was less like sharing and more like a statement of what we were doing. I replied back with an equally fascinating observation of "yea, its amazing".  Deep, emotional stuff was being exchanged here people. A few more cliches were said that are usually shared under a starry sky.  Mr W again broke the silence, wondering out load about what God intended for us. 

My brain didn't understand, what do you mean what God intended for us? He continued wondering out loud; about his heart’s desire, God's plan, Heaven.  I remember key phrases because while he was deep in thought, I was mentally sweating.  I was trying to draw upon 12 years of private, Catholic education to recall information on any of the things he was saying.  I was blank. I remembering singing songs about Jesus loving us, studying the crusades and learning God knew all of our sins. What he was talking about sounded so.. personal, so real. I finally interjected, trying to sit up and look at him while forgetting I was on a slanted roof-top and beginning to slide down. "What do you mean about God's plan? God has a plan?". He sat up also [without sliding around on the roof I might add] and told me that the Lord has plans for all of us which intend for us to live for Him. 

Mr W mused "What if we actually all loved each other like God intended? What would the world be like? What would our lives be like?".  I asked if that was really possible, if everyone could really be good just because God made them.  Josh simply replied with "God created all of this [life], every person was created in His image. And He did [all of this for us] out of love." I said that is a really cool thought, how did you come up with that? His response "I didn't, it's all in the Bible". 

Dumbfounded, embarrassed and very curious were a few of the feelings I had.  I'd grown up reading the bible, well reading it from a this-is-going-to-be-on-the-test perspective. Which , is where I now know how I missed focusing about God being a loving, creative and all-powerful God. Mr W loves God and God loves him and I saw how confident Mr W was in that love.  I was beyond curious and frankly, I felt like I had been left out of something big all my life.

Time was rushing past us, I usually started work at 715am, our conversation needed to be put on pause.  Mr W climbed down off the roof-top and as he reached the top of the trash can I called out "Wait! How am I going to get down?” He paused from his spot, standing on the can's plastic lid, looked down the ground then back up at me hovering at the edge of the roof.  The moment he reached out his arms "Jump"; the plastic lid buckled under his weight, denting inward towards the ground.  In one fluid motion I pushed off the roof's ledge, my feet landing on the mere inches left of the collapsing piece of plastic. Mr W's arms surrounded me to stabilize my landing.  The plastic lid could stand no more and quickly folded underneath our feet.  We jumped off merely escaping the remaining 5 foot tumble onto concrete.  

The following summer we would be in Michigan again, walking around that same park.  Only this time it was during the day and we would notice how that roof-top was roughly 12 feet off the ground.  A detail neither of us deemed important that first night at the park.

-Mrs W

..and what do you do?

I have a new job.

Well, I'd use the term job loosely.   I have a new take on life and it begins with my employment status.  See, I've started working at a rock gym and I hardly view what I do as "work".  Its more like I get to play at a gym with people who use the words double fisherman, crimp, jug, sequenced and projecting in regular conversation. The climbing community is an awesome one.  It is a very inclusive in a-kids-coming-together-on-the-playground kind of way.  Everyone is allowed to play, regardless of rank. And everyone cheers each other on in a new accomplishment. There are a few exceptions but those people aren't the rule.

For anyone who doesn't agonize over the details of my life <read no one> I left my job in November 2012 and have been floating ever since.  I have been sitting on the couch, eating bon bons watching Downton Abbey. I do stuff like laundry, pay bills, clean and take care of our new dwarf lemon tree named Bob.

Meet Bob

There has been a significant reduction of stress in my life. I had the bad sort of worldly stress. Stressing about how I spend my approx 12 days of vacation, how much I know about so-and-so's position at work, or why I wasn't invited to a meeting that obviously involved my job. I stressed over worldly stuff.  I still have stress but its manageable.

See, I'm really trying to do this thing a friend once told me about working for the Lord. That friend is named Heather and she just recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Talk about doing work for God! When I worked at my old job, I was doing it for ME. For selfish reasons of feeling I had to prove myself to someone.  Last time I checked, my husband, family, close friends and certainly not God have ever asked me to prove my existence.

Anyway, back to working at the gym. One afternoon my husband very blankly told me to DO SOMETHING. An hour later I was dropping an application off at the gym. It was a surprise after a month of not hearing back I got a call for the job at the perfect moment. Mr W was just about to leave for a 2 week business trip. We (husband and I) were worried I'd sink into a couch surfing bum. But God provided for me a way fill up my days and a way to meet new friends. The killer biceps have also been a pretty nice perk ;)

That pipe dream just became a teeny bit more plausible though, I'm still intent on walkin' where the Lord leads.

-Mrs. W

As I went down to the river (No 6)

If you missed it here is where Mr W asked me on a [I didnt realize it was a date] date.

We spent the afternoon kayaking down the river. Sometimes paddling through the shallow sections but mostly we were carried downstream by the lazy current.  The sky was clear, the sun was out and it was warm. The rare trifecta of Spring Time in Michigan.

Our adventure lasted over 3 hours.  We talked the entire time. Josh told me about his childhood. How much of a hand full he was (my words).  His word choice was more four lettered than mine. He told me when he reached 5th grade, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. The news broke his world. He began acting out even more, enraged that his mother was sick. His parents sent him to Spring Hill summer camp.  It was there that he found Jesus and experienced the power of His Love.  He was changed. His parents noticed how different their boy is. His mom promised to send him back to camp every summer if he wanted.  He even went back to be a counselor. He told me about his high school years and the group of friends who accepted him as their own. How he watched crappy daytime television and shows like The OC with his mom when she battled round 2 of cancer. He would host OC watching parties and his mom would make desserts. It was during these nights where the entire female population of Midland High would show up to watch the show at his house.  [What a stud]. In Mr W's words It was a one two punch get Josh a lady friend combo.  He talked about her sense of humor. She gave him space to make mistakes but showed up quickly to console him. He learned his passion for snow skiing, boating and water skiing from her.  She would say life is a bowl of cherries and I want to eat every last one.

Josh paused his story telling as we approached where the river had churned out a cove in it's bank. He pulled our kayaks in where the current could no longer tow us downstream. I did not want him to say out loud what  I knew in my heart he would tell me next. I had only met his father and sister.  In his childhood home, there were books kept on the coffee table with her name as the author.  Those walls held pictures of this woman I would never get to meet. His mother had lost her battle with cancer. She died his freshman year of college.

He continued to tell me about his time in school but I don't remember all of those details. What I recall hearing was a boy who was changed by the love of Christ. A boy who deeply loves his mother. A man who tightly embraces family. Man o man do I admire how much he loves his family. And that is what I thought about through the rest of kayaking, driving back to his aunt's and stopping for milkshakes on the way home.

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Mr W has given me permission to tell his story. Which, is a big deal because everyone knows how much he loves to tell stories. But he let me have this one. It is one I've been wanting to write since that day back in June of 2009. I realize how precious it has been to get to know my mother-in-law through all of these stories. The stories told to me by her son Mr. W, her daughter, her husband and the entire population of Midland who know she is pretty special. Someone, whom the Lord has taken from us but still remains so alive in people's stories makes her an inspiring woman indeed.
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For my mother-in-law, Darlene.
I am so jealous of the time Josh and Jessica had you all to themselves.
Love,
Your daughter-in-law

Absent

I have been very absent lately.  Absent as in absentminded, absent from thoughts, absent from everything. Life.  I've also been absent on here and I don't really understand why.

They see me rollin, they hatin.

See, I like blogging, I love writing down my thoughts, agonizing over the proper word descriptors and I adore reflecting on moments.  However, I haven't been able to do any of that for nearly 2 weeks. I have been every definition of absent.

New things are on the horizon.  Quite like spring seems around the corner in Northern California.  I was sitting outside, watching 2 interesting characters in the park talk very loudly about a secret mission they were going to embark on.  Then one got up and meandered down the middle of the street in a not very straight line.  #IloveCalifornia.  Once they left I had nothing to do but think about how absent I have been lately.

 

While I was sitting there, thinking myself into circles, I felt a warm tangible weight on my shoulder; the Sun.  He was rising, beginning to bake the air into Spring.  There is a sweet smell associated with Spring.  Scents of fallen rain combing through fresh cut grass and an earthiness..  Sort of like when you were 3 and dug up earth warms for the first time in your mom's freshly planted flower bed.  Then, the breeze rushes in; the damp, heavy, mineral air which has been hiding beneath the shade since the last frost. The vibrations of life beginning to bloom.  This movement is elusive until time allows the Sun to cure Green into the colors of his fiery kiln.

So here is my prayer to be less absent and more present.  Especially now as winter seems to be dying to Spring. Let the old me die and be left behind.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old is gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

-Mrs. W.

24 years ..part I

Having a birthday right after the New Year, I equate new year to new age.

A brief recap of how I spent 24:

Josh rang in my 24th birthday with a surprise trip to Tiffany's.  He brought me into the store and told me to pick out whatever I wanted. Probably every girl's dream.  Well, a sales woman heard him exclaim this she promptly lead me to the platinum and diamonds counter.  After lots of trying on, we left the store with these gorgeous silver bow earrings.  Which, actually turned into a hilarious story that I'll need to explain in more detail because Mr. W realized such an open ended statement could have lead to trouble!  I really did marry the most wonderful man in the world.

bows

My mom and sister visited; we went to wine country and ate wonderful food here.

Mr. W's dad, sister and best man visited our little 2 bedroom apartment.  We hiked at Angel Island, Ano Nuevo and had hours of glorious family time.

Mr. W. Sister (in law). Mr. W's Best Man.

Family.

Angel Island

Sausalito

Ano Nuevo.

elephant seals!

We spent Easter weekend hiking in Point Reyes and vowed to fight each other less and hike more.

through the woods.

the coast.

I planned a last minute backpacking trip through the Ventana Wilderness just south of Big Sur.  I remember this trip as the time we learned to really depend the Lord's plan for our marriage.  There was no nagging, no yelling, no you suck because. We worked as a TEAM thanks to the Lord for answering our prayers to strengthen our marriage. #winningformarriage! Afterwards we stopped at Barb's Fish Trap, a must go to if traveling any where near Half Moon Bay.

Ventana Wilderness

Refueling.

Mr. W finally convinced me to try out a nearby rock gym. I couldn't get enough.  We climbed 4 days in a row.  My hands were shredded and I had knots from my knuckles to my eye balls but I was in heaven on earth.

We walked in the Bay To Breaker's Parade.  I dub this my first city experience.  It was memorable enough that I've retired from participating ;)

Willy Wonka and his crew.

My dad came to visit for the US Open in the city.  We use any visit from family or friends as an excuse to explore like tourists :)

my dad's visit.

We took 2 days off for a last minute trip to Tahoe with family friends. I climbed outside for the first time at 90 ft wall.

90 ft wall near Eagle Falls.

Angora Lake.

We planned a backpacking trip in Yosemite with a group of co-workers. I conquered my fear of heights and hiked Half Dome. We also hiked to the Cascades near Little Yosemite Valley and spent a day riding a natural water slide.

half dome.

Stretching out for the climb.

water slide.

At Mr. W's prompting, I participated in our rock gym's top rope series and I some how walked out with 2nd place in women's beginner level. Rock climbing became our thing.

We climbed more. This time near Table Scraps in Sonoma County.

Table Scraps

I competed in our rock gym's grip challenge.  This was my first time dead lifting on a fat bar any bar.  I went out at 155.

I look like I'm about to die.  Photo credit.

We took a trip back to the Midwest.  Saw family, friends, had rest and recuperated in hammocks.  I spent every morning near the water talking with the Lord and He healed my soul of many earthly things I had been holding on to since we moved.

Family. Photo Credit.

Sister (in law) and I at the grandparents lake house.

Mr. W can fly.

I completed the Tough Mudder in Tahoe and was dubbed hard core by our mostly male team.  For anyone who is curious, the electric shock obstacles really do pack a punch.  If any one has ever told you it was no big deal, here's a secret, there is actually a power on/off switch.  I assure you it was on when I ran through.  My heart does not normally jump like that for kicks ;)

Before the race.

Mr. W tore his acl playing Ultimate Frisbee and I planned less intense hiking trips for the fall. Our criteria for less intense meant the trail had to be flat with ample parking close by.  We felt like posers.

Mr. W got a new job.  I quit my job.  And then we moved to Hawaii..

Hawaiian roller coaster ride.

Tune in for part II
-Mrs W

update: here is Part II